Simply Irene

What do you do when your heart is broken—trampled on, devastated, and reshaped in a way that could change your entire life?

This isn’t a holiday post about gifts, shopping, or cheerful family gatherings. And if you’re reading this on Christmas Eve, just know—you’re not alone if you’re not feeling festive.

This isn’t a negative story, either. It’s an honest one.

When a Hard Year Finally Breaks You

If you’ve followed me at all this year, you already know—it’s been rough.

Before I started this channel, life was fairly normal. Then things slowly unraveled. My car became a financial nightmare. My job was toxic, draining, and miserable—and I stayed there for three years longer than I should have.

Then August hit.

On August 1st, I was in a car accident. The car was totaled. I’m still dealing with some physical pain from it now. Later that same month, I lost my job. Suddenly, I had no car and no income at the same time.

August was brutal.

But oddly enough, during unemployment, I found peace.

I had unemployment checks. I had money from the accident settlement. My bills were paid. I was safe. It was fall, the weather was beautiful, and for the first time in years, I wasn’t waking up dreading my day.

I was calm. I was happy.

Or so I thought.

When Betrayal Comes From Where You Least Expect It

By November, my health started acting strangely. I’ll share more about that separately, but it added another layer of stress.

Still, I thought: Christmas will be quiet. New Year will reset everything.

Then Sunday night happened.

I learned information I never should have had to learn—about someone I trusted deeply. Someone I thought was my best friend and the love of my life.

It’s over.

I’ve been betrayed before. This was another version of it. And it broke my heart.

I feel tossed aside. Trampled on. Disposable.

I’m devastated.

The Wake-Up Call I Didn’t Want—but Needed

That night, I was on the phone with my sister, Olaya, while everything was unfolding. She told me we’d talk the next day.

Monday, I was numb. I logged into work remotely and went through the motions.

Tuesday morning, I fell apart.

I cried—hard. Then I went for a walk in the rain while my sister talked to me and said something that hit me like a brick:

“For the last five years, you’ve been putting everyone else’s needs ahead of your own.”

She was right.

I put my daughter before myself.
I put friends before myself.
I put relationships before myself.

And in the process, I stopped taking care of me.

I stopped wearing makeup.
I stopped doing my hair.
I stopped dressing in ways that made me feel good.

Not because I didn’t care—but because I was exhausted from filling everyone else’s cup.

Choosing Myself Again

That realization hurt—but it also clarified everything.

I’m changing my life.

I’m getting back to who I was before I disappeared trying to make everyone else happy. That doesn’t mean abandoning others—it means setting boundaries. Something I haven’t done in years.

One of those changes is my health.

Being Honest About My Body and My Health

I told myself privately—and now publicly—that I want to lose 62 pounds.

I started on November 3rd at 242 pounds. As of December 24th, I’m down about 10 pounds.

This hasn’t been extreme dieting. A lot of it came from my “no-spend winter,” cooking more at home, eating less, and being more mindful.

After talking to my sister, I put on workout clothes and did a short strength workout at home. Nothing intense. Just movement. I also went on two long walks.

This isn’t about punishment.

It’s about health.

My knees hurt. My back hurts. I know that even losing 20 more pounds would make daily life easier. Stairs would hurt less. Movement would feel lighter.

That matters.

Dating Myself and Rebuilding Confidence

I don’t have a workout partner. I don’t have a cheer squad. So I’m doing this alone—and that’s okay.

I’m going to:

• Get manicures and pedicures
• Take pottery classes (yes, spin the wheel)
• Buy dresses and skirts in the spring
• Care about how I look again

Not for anyone else.

For me.

I deserve to feel healthy.
I deserve to look good.
I deserve effort.

I didn’t hate my body—but I hated how I felt in my clothes. And my health needs attention right now.

Learning Not to Replace Relationships

My sister said something else that mattered:

“Don’t use your daughter as a placeholder for relationships that ended. Build the relationship with yourself.”

She’s right.

My daughter is home until January 10th, and I’ll love every second of our time together—but I’m not filling emotional gaps with her.

This space is for me.

Mornings are the hardest. I wake up missing the “good morning” calls. Missing that constant connection. Losing a best friend means losing daily intimacy, and you can’t just replace that overnight.

I won’t stop caring about people—but I will stop abandoning myself.

Final Thought About Relationships

Whether it’s friends, partners, family—always be honest.

Speak up when something hurts. Address things directly. So much pain can be avoided when people communicate openly.

And if honesty still leads to loss? At least you know you showed up fully.

Moving Forward—One Day at a Time

Right now, I’m okay.

Not perfect. Not healed. But grounded.

This heartbreak forced me to choose myself again—and that may be the greatest gift hidden inside the pain.

Wishing you peace this Christmas, wherever you are emotionally.

I’ll see you on nest week. 💛

-Irene